Xenobiotic

xeno·bi·otic (zen′ō bī ät′ik, zē′nō-)

adjective
1. designating or of a chemical substance that is foreign, and usually harmful, to living organisms
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Well, you know I have kids so I don't think I can possibly be xenobiotic... I wonder if this word could be used instead of antibiotic or antiseptic? Imagine a "new" hand sanitizer that touts itself as XENOBIOTIC! I'd buy it. :)

Watery

wa•tery (-ē)

adjective
1. of or like water
2. containing or full of water; moist
3. thin; diluted watery tea
4. tearful; weeping
5. in or consisting of water a watery grave
6. weak; insipid
7. soft or soggy
8. full of, secreting, or giving off a morbid discharge resembling water
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Which to tackle first? Technically, I guess, I AM made mostly of water. But, I’m not normally tearful, weak, soggy (though I am currently pretty soft), or giving off any kind of morbid discharge. *gag*

Vacationer

va•ca•tioner (-ər)

noun
1. a person taking a vacation, esp. one who is traveling or at a resort
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I wish. I think the last real vacation I went on was my honeymoon. Four years ago.

Vacationer... only when I visit Lala Land in my dreams.

Umbrageous

um•bra•geous (um brā′jəs)

adjective
1. easily offended
2. giving shade; shady
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As for easily offended, no, not me. I’ll talk about pretty much anything with anyone at any time. You’d have to go out of your way to offend me and it would probably have to involve a direct hit to my family.

Occasionally I provide shade for one of my little ones, but only if they’re in direct sun. :) I guess that makes me partially umbrageous after all.

Taciturn

taci•turn (tas′ə tʉrn′)

adjective
1. almost always silent; not liking to talk; uncommunicative
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LOL! No.

I don’t think one person who’s known me for more than 5 minutes would refer to me as taciturn. Seriously. I love to talk with people and find out who & what they are. I love to tell & hear stories and I truly love when I find things in common with someone else. Drives my husband batty sometimes!

Salesman

sales•man (sālz′mən)

noun
1. a salesperson, esp. one employed as a traveling agent for a manufacturer, distributor, etc.
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Um, the stuff I make is really cool, I promise. Very unique & designer. And high-end, don’t forget high-end.

Lord, I’m NOT a salesman… I used to work in Sales Operations before motherhood struck and just watching the sales guys/gals used to make me kind of nauseous. I’m just not good at it. I’m not a schmoozer and I can’t sell just for the heck of it. Plus, I’m bad with names and that’s pretty much a deal breaker!

Rested

rest•ed (res-təd)

adjective
1. having had sufficient rest or slezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Quack

quack (kwak)

noun
1. an untrained person who practices medicine fraudulently
2. any person who pretends to have knowledge or skill that he or she does not have in a particular field; charlatan
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The only medicine I practice is the kiss & a band aid type & I got my license to practice that kind of medicine after pushing a baby out of my uterus. No fraud there.

Other than that, I don’t think I pretend to have knowledge in any field, except maybe parenting. I think all parents are frauds. How could you NOT be a quack when you're pretending you know how to do something that you've never done before or been trained on!

I have bits and bits of knowledge in all kinds of areas, but I try not to claim to be skilled in any of them!

Patient

pa•tient (pā′s̸hənt)

adjective
1. bearing or enduring pain, trouble, etc. without complaining or losing self-control
2. refusing to be provoked or angered, as by an insult; forbearing; tolerant
3. calmly tolerating delay, confusion, inefficiency, etc.
4. able to wait calmly for something desired
5. showing or characterized by patience a patient face
6. steady; diligent; persevering
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I USED to be a patient person. And then I had kids.

Okay, okay, I’m ‘fessing up. While I try, HARD, I’m not the world’s most patient person. I know some folks less patient that me, but I strive to emulate those wonderfully patient mothers I see out there who seem unflappable. But, certainly they must yell at their kids occasionally, too, right?? My kids know just how to push my buttons, but I think that’s just what kids do.

I’m also not very patient with other drivers… Living in New England, where the WORST drivers are, I’ve just reached my end with them, too. :) I’ve had to start calling them “dingbats” now, though, as I don’t want my 3 year old to call her teacher a “raging jacka**” the next time she gets frustrated.

Oblivious

ob•livi•ous (ə bliv′ē əs)

adjective
1. forgetful: usually with of
2. unaware or indifferent: usually with of or, esp., to
3. causing forgetfulness
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I don’t know how to tackle this one without sounding snotty… I’m extremely aware of what’s going on around me, most of the time. I pay attention to the little things, like changes in street signs or lawn ornaments, as well as the big things like how the people around me are feeling & what they might need. It’s actually one of the things I pride myself on, now that I think about it! I will admit, though, that I’m sometimes forgetful and probably obvlivious, but I think that comes with being a mama… ask anyone. :)

Negative

nega·tive (neg′ə tiv)

adjective
1. containing, expressing, or implying a denial or refusal; that says “no” a negative reply
2. opposite to something regarded as positive
3. Biol. directed away from the source of a stimulus negative tropism
4. ☆ Elec.
1. of, generating, or charged with negative electricity
2. having an excess of electrons
5. Math. designating a quantity less than zero, or one to be subtracted; minus quantity
7. Med. not having or not demonstrating, showing, or proving the presence or existence of a condition, infection, symptoms, bacteria, etc. a patient who is negative for TB; the X-rays were negative
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Wow... quite a definition, huh? Where to begin? I'm positive that I'm not negative. :) It's my nature to see the silver lining, the cup is always half full. I believe that you get what you ask for in life; what you worry about becomes what IS. As such, the more positive you can be, the more positive your life will be. Smile!

Machiavellian

Machia·vel·lian (mak′ē ə vel′ē ən, mäk′-; -vel′yən)

adjective
1. of Machiavelli
2. of, like, or characterized by the political principles and methods of expediency, craftiness, and duplicity set forth in Machiavelli's book, The Prince; crafty, deceitful, etc.
3. someone of extreme political views
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Oh, I'm crafty all right, but more in a let's-make-our-own-wedding-invitations kind of way than a manipulates-others-for-my-own-gain sort of way... :) I discovered that Machiavelli himself was not necessarily machiavellian, either, but that the word comes from the ruling principles set forth in his book, The Prince, which several historians now think was written as a satire. Who knew? Regardless, I'm neither devious (most of the time) nor do I have extreme political views (most of the time). :)

Laggard

lag·gard (lag′ərd)

noun
1. a slow person, esp. one who is always falling behind; loiterer
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Though I did almost get a ticket for loitering once, it wasn't because I was slow, it was because I was a teenager...

Generally speaking, I'm pretty excited about things & in a "group" learning situation, like a museum tour, I'm usually right up front. I think I'm whatever the opposite of laggard is... maybe enthusiastic?

Knitter

knit (nit)

transitive verb
1. to make (cloth or a garment) by interconnecting loops of yarn or thread in rows of stitches by means of a pair of special needles or a machine
2. to form into cloth in this way rather than by weaving
3. to form (one or more stitches of the basic type) “K2, P2” means “knit two stitches, purl 2 stitches”
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Boy, I sure with I could knit... I've tried so many times, to no avail. I'd like to be able to say that it's the counting that I can't handle, and that's definitely part of it!, but I can't even get past the "cast on" stage, never mind learning all the different types of stitches. It's shameful, really, but I've flat out given up on ever being able to knit. I've heard crochet is a little easier so maybe I'll give that a shot the next time I have any desire to feel like a failure. ;p

Jealous

jeal•ous (jel′əs)

adjective
1. very watchful or careful in guarding or keeping
2. resentfully suspicious of a rival or a rival's influence
3. resentfully envious
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In my opinion, jealousy is one of the most useless emotions. If you want what someone else has, work harder to get it yourself. If you’re jealous of your partner’s friends or exes, you need to have a talk with yourself & your partner about trust. Put the energy that you’re wasting with jealousy towards improving your own situation and get on with living your own life!

Illiterate

il•lit•er•ate (i lit′ər it)

adjective
1. ignorant; uneducated; esp., not knowing how to read or write
2. having or showing limited knowledge, experience, or culture
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As someone who can (and frequently does) read a 300 page book in just under a few hours, corrects her family’s grammar, and edits her friends’ emails, I don’t think the word illiterate applies to me. Being able to read & write is such a beautiful gift and I’m so thankful that I have it. For information on literacy projects in this country, please see The National Institute for Literacy.

Hardheaded

hard•headed (-hed′id)

adjective
1. shrewd and unsentimental; practical; matter-of-fact
2. stubborn; obstinate; dogged
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I sometimes comes off as hardheaded, but it’s usually because I’m playing devil’s advocate. I love discussing different opinions and try very hard to keep my mind open in all things. And I don’t know if it’s even possible for someone with children to be unsentimental… even my husband gets weepy when he thinks too hard about our kids growing up!

Gaudy

gaudy (gô′dē)

adjective
1. bright and showy, but lacking in good taste; cheaply brilliant and ornate
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Brilliantly cheap, maybe, but not cheaply brilliant.

I’m not a fan of flash for the sake of flash, which is why I wouldn’t make it very far in Hollywood. I prefer jeans to gold lamé, Shaker to Gothic (or Gaudi), and raw silk to sequins. Give my daughter some time, though, and she’ll surely have me completely decked out in pink rhinestone bejeweled, princess gaudy-ness. Heaven help me.

Funny

fun•ny (fun′ē)

adjective
1. causing laughter; laughable; amusing; humorous
2. Out of the ordinary; strange; queer
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So, a Catholic, a Mormon, and an atheist walk into a bar…

No, jokes and witty banter are definitely not my thing! I always screw up the joke and forget the punchline, or I’m laughing so hard just thinking of the end that I can’t even get it out.

My Dad & I crack each other up, but we have the exact same sense of humor. Everyone else just thinks I’m weird... which, I suppose could make me the 2nd definition of funny.

Egotist

ego•tist (-tist)

noun
1. a person characterized by egotism (constant, excessive reference to oneself in speaking or writing; self-conceit)
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“I’m no egotist!”, I say, as I spend every day writing a paragraph about my grand and wonderful self… ;p

Dependent

de•pend•ent (dē pen′dənt, di-)

adjective
1. influenced, controlled, or determined by something else; contingent
2. subordinate
3. addicted

noun
1. a person who depends on someone else for existence, support, etc.
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This one made me chuckle. I’ve always considered myself to be one of the most independent people I know, but the noun form of dependent comes scarily close to describing me. It’s against my nature to rely on help or aid from anyone else to get by in life. As a SAHM I have to be somewhat dependent on my husband (for financial support), but even that goes against my grain. Hence my little cottage industries, The Covered Bottom & Key Fob Fairy.

I may not be paying the mortgage with my profits, but last month I made enough to make my husband’s car payment!

Careerist

ca•reer•ist (-ist)

noun
1. a person interested chiefly in succeeding in a career, to the neglect of other things
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As a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) to two little ones, I’m hardly a careerist. Had I not been blessed with children, it’s certainly possible that I could have headed in this direction. I was already fully ensconced in Corporate America, working towards my own office, assistant, and 60-hour a week headache. Now that I’ve tasted freedom, though, I hope I don’t ever have to go back.

Baleful

bale·ful (bāl′fəl)

adjective
1. harmful or threatening harm or evil; ominous; deadly
2. sorrowful; wretched
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Sorrowful & wretched I am not. Most people would refer to me as the eternal optimist. Not perky, either, mind you, but we'll save that for later in the alphabet. I do occasionally threaten harm, though, especially if something threatens my children, but that's about it. In general I'm not evil or ominous, preferring to try to see the good in people & situations. Baleful definitely does not describe me.

Abiotic

(ā′bī ät′ik)

adjective
1. of nonliving substances or environmental factors
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Okay, we'll establish the most basic of basic when it comes to being. I'm am not, nor have I ever been, abiotic. Parts of me are, I suppose, like my nails & hair, but for the most part I'm a living, breathing, female human being.

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